Application <<DECLINED>>

Real Name: Brandon
Age: 23

How did you find Station Gamma?/Did a member invite you?
i was on the STWOR forum and seen ur post discussion thought to myself joining an elite well organised group early would not hurt

Why are you interested in joining us?
for one this is the best website for a team i found right off the bat and actually read all the info i seen very interesting and im learning alot

Do you consider yourself mature?
yes at twenty three i better be

Tell us a little about yourself. Hobbies, job, ect.
I use ta be an amateur boxer before my promotion team left me behind to promote another fighter so i got left in the dust,right now i work in a factory while also working my way thru college part time (nutrition and fitness)

What timezone are you?
eastern time
Character Information:

Character Name:Talon, Bmac (bemerciful) Venge
Character Age:18
Gender:male
Class: jedi guardian

Character Biography: Talon's start as far back as he remembers was on coruscant raised by adopted parents both very loving to him and loyal to the empire never new of his real parents he adopted his new parents last name venge and thats all that mattered to him,Talon always new he was a cut above the rest his peers called him gifted was always a leader and excelled at physical and mental activities and most the time scoffed at those who could not pick up activities and lessons in school as fast as he could.
in his teens Talon began learning through his father the teachings of the empire and how they were going to change the galaxy as we kno it he listened intently always asking questions about the sith and jedi alike and would mimick their light saber moves with passion. a couple years later after seeing a sith warrior in the local cantina he asked his father if he thought he could be just as powerful as a sith warrior,his father replied "u will never be like those scum they suck the life right out of us all,be a ship commander or even a grand moff just never a sith".
puzzled by his fathers words since he usually spoke so highly of the empire Talon decided to spy on local jedi he knew were jedi only thru some keen sense he never understood but followed his gut insticts and was always right, finding jedi was rare ever since the takeover of coruscant by the empire so any chance encounter with the sabered ones was a opportunity that could not be passed up.
one night after spying on one of the jedi he followed for many a nights a sith found out about the jedi and set a trap for him in an ally close to Talons home a fight ensued the jedi was struck down right before the boy who got to close to the action awestruck by the lightsaber brilliance, but before the jedi died he called the boy over to him as if he knew who the boy was through some strange connection Talon didnt understand he gave the boy a message that went
" always be merciful one day u will change the course of many peoples lives for the better and for the better ur life will be".After this brief exchange of words the sith who attacked the jedi turned to young Talon asked what he told him and scared the boy ran, the sith persued the chase led them to his home where upon entering talon locked the door and told his parents a sith was after him before anyone could say anything the sith force pushed the door away leaped into the house light saber unsheathed and killed Talons parents.in these times talons father always kept a secret compartment under the bed that went from an air duct to the family vehicle,talon took this and escaped.
This was the beginning of a new life,a vow to destroy the sith,an undetermined future,alone seeking answers from a jedi he felt like he knew his whole life for just a moment the words "bemerciful" ringing in his mind.his first objective to find a jedi enclave no matter the cost,he knows little but knows he will not fail once he puts his mind he can achieve anything but who will take him in and goin from a empire supporter to a jedi knight is that possible? with the words from a fallen jedi and tons of puzzles that need to be unlocked young Talon will not stop till he finds the knowledge he needs to understand not only the ways of the force but maybe one day gain the knowledge and understanding he needs to know about the fallen jedi and what he meant.going by the name bmac to cloak his true identity a new legacy is about to begin!

Character Traits: very aggressive in nature gets what he wants black hair and brown eyes learning from the warriors he always seen in the cantina's wears armor under his hood for extra protection


How much roleplay experience do you have?
very little besides a few games on wolrd of war craft on others accounts this will be my first and am excited to play looking for guidance in these worlds

Other MMO exeprience:

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Have you read and understand the rules? If you have not read them please read them here.
yes i understand the rules

Welcome to Station Gamma!

While I cannot give you a full acceptance speech, I can definitely provide some helpful insight before the Station Master comes around and dishes out judgment on your application.

Firstly, you're going to need to work on spelling and grammar. As we are a heavy RP guild we do have moderately high expectations for our members to abide by. One of those expectations is that they will write with proper grammar and clarity. So I'd run over your application with a spell checker as well as have someone check for grammar errors.

Secondly, in an application, it must be taken seriously. I highly doubt you would be using things like "ur" and other types of abbreviations and ebonics on a real-world job application. You should take the same kind of seriousness with our application. We're looking for good quality members and stuff like that, while normal to most people, shows you aren't taking this seriously enough.

Thirdly, in your bio you're going to want to double space your paragraphs. They seemed cluttered together and it doesn't look as professional. I dunno, I might just be nitpicking. But it would make it overall easier to read if the paragraphs were clearly spaced.

Also the use of capitalizations when appropriate also would be a nice touch. This is in regards to not only names but in regards to the beginning of sentences, as well as using punctuation when appropriate.

Overall the application could use a good deal of work before it can pass muster. We aren't looking for English majors, but we are looking for people who can offer something presentable to the table. If your application is a direct reflection of how you will role-play, I can foresee some problems in the future. Not to say you won't do good, just that it will be hard to understand your posts with the errors that have been seen here.

I am sorry to inform you that your application has been declined. You did not follow most of the procedure correctly such as the application title. I am afraid that your not quite the member material we are looking for at this time. You may apply again at a later date. Thank you.